


Always

by Bemused_Writer



Series: From the Desert to Outer Space [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Keith (Voltron), M/M, Supportive Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bemused_Writer/pseuds/Bemused_Writer
Summary: While aboard the Black Lion heading back towards Earth, Keith and Shiro have a pertinent conversation about the events leading up to where they are now and what might come next.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> I see Keith as being either gray-romantic or demiromantic in this story, which is why he's struggling to identify feelings that might otherwise seem "obvious" to someone else. Season 6 was so incredible; I really can't wait to see the next one. ^^

Rest. Shiro didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed resting as much as he did right now and he was lying on the cold floor. Earlier he’d been in the healing pod and, while it was more comfortable, had felt too restrictive. As such, he was lying in the cockpit of the Black Lion, just enjoying the feeling of warm blankets wrapped around him. He could admit to himself that another reason to avoid the healing pod was that he didn’t feel comfortable leaving Keith all alone; every time Keith snuck a look backwards, obviously checking to make sure Shiro was still there, still all right, Shiro knew he’d made the right choice.

 He wasn’t sleeping though, despite his prone position on the floor. Doing so reminded him too much of being trapped in that astral plane. It reminded him too much of being dead.

And now he was thinking about one of the many things he had sworn he wouldn’t think about until he had _time._ Time in the far future. Not right now. Regardless, he’d always been the type that stayed up late to study for finals or to help someone else study for _their_ finals. More often than not that someone had been Keith if he were completely honest with himself.

Shiro shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable. Without his prosthetic arm everything felt just a little bit _off._ He laid on his left side now even though it wasn’t his preference simply because at least that way he didn’t have to acknowledge one arm was still missing. Part of him missed his Galra prosthetic. Another part of him was glad it was gone. He’d never been sure how to feel about it. On one hand, they had forcibly taken his arm away from him for the sake of experimentation. For most people that would be the end of the argument. But it had also made it easier to fight the galra in turn. At least, it had until it was used against everyone he cared about anyway. Shiro squeezed his eyes shut. This was another thing he had promised himself he wouldn’t think about.

Just a little ways ahead of him Keith was piloting the lion quietly, occasionally murmuring to himself as he checked their coordinates. Krolia was off in another part of the lion, presumably resting or making sure everything was functioning adequately. She may also have been attempting to give them some space, which Shiro appreciated. He hoped he’d get to know her better though; she meant so much to Keith.

At long last Keith set the controls to autopilot with a weary sigh that left Shiro wincing in sympathy. He knew all too well what it was like to push yourself to the brink and Keith had been doing that nonstop for … Shiro didn’t even know. Too long.

Keith stretched his back before moving to sit cross-legged beside Shiro’s makeshift bed.

“Hey,” he started, brushing Shiro’s bangs out of his eyes. Keith seemed fascinated by the change in his hair color. Shiro was somewhat less intrigued by the difference. “How are you holding up?”

“I feel a little strange,” Shiro admitted. He’d been slowly piecing together what his clone had gotten up to. The most vivid memory was the one etched into Keith’s skin. Shiro tried not to stare at the scar too overtly. He didn’t want to worry Keith and the knowledge that he caused that pain (no, the other him?) was more than he thought he could bear.

Keith must have noticed his avoidance because he carefully gripped Shiro’s face and turned it back towards him and stared at him intently. Shiro found himself wondering who this calm, collected man was. Keith used to be so unsure of himself and had been prone to intense bouts of frustration and ennui. This Keith hadn’t lost his cool even in the midst of battle and hadn’t since they’d started toward Earth despite the numerous difficulties they’d faced. Shiro felt a spark of pride at the shift but also sorrow in knowing he had missed everything leading up to it.

“It wasn’t you,” Keith said gently, obviously seeing the guilt in Shiro’s eyes every time he looked at that scar. He brushed his thumb soothingly against Shiro’s temple. Shiro closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation for a moment. But then he remembered that battle where Keith was begging him to stop, to let him save him, and his eyes popped back open. Keith withdrew his hand in surprise.

“Even if it wasn’t, I—“ He didn’t want to worry Keith. But even in the faint light of the cockpit he could tell that it was too late for that.

“I still remember,” he finally said. “I remember it all as if I were the one doing that.” He cleared his throat. It was suddenly feeling very tight.

“You have his memories?” Keith’s voice had a strange tone to it that Shiro couldn’t place. It was strange not knowing what Keith was thinking.

Shiro nodded hesitantly. He also had all of his own memories to the best of his knowledge, even the ones where he had technically been in the astral plane. He’d seen everything through the lion’s eyes then. He remembered seeing Keith in the Black Lion hoping not to be chosen as Voltron’s leader and ultimately doing it for Shiro, and Shiro was starting to think that, clone or not, he seemed to bring little more than pain to Keith’s life.

“Stop blaming yourself, Shiro.” When Shiro shot him a look Keith only rolled his eyes. “I know you well enough by now to know when you’re brooding. What--” It was Keith’s turn to hesitate. “What do you remember, exactly?”

“That, mostly,” Shiro nodded toward the scar adorning Keith’s face. Keith touched it idly as though he’d forgotten all about the burn mark stretching across his face.

“That’s it?” Why did he sound so fragile? Surely that was the worst of it. Had his clone done something worse? Anxiety rolled in the pit of his stomach.

“No,” he said slowly. “I remember the entire … battle. I remember being under Haggar’s control, I remember hating myself for causing you pain.” If nothing else, he and the other Shiro had that much in common.

Keith still seemed expectant and Shiro thought harder at what else could have been horrific enough to leave a more lasting impression than an actual physical wound.

 _Think from Keith’s perspective,_ Shiro reminded himself. From his own perspective he knew what would haunt him but Keith often looked at things a little differently. What would have left him feeling uncertain when he was otherwise perfectly at ease? Keith had an almost blind loyalty to Shiro to the point Shiro knew he’d forgive him for most anything. It worried him as much as it consoled him. But for Keith … nothing upset Keith more than if he thought he himself had stepped out of line. Oh, not in terms of rules. Keith only ever really followed his own code but it was a principled one regardless. But the only thing that could have qualified as undisciplined was--

_I love you._

Oh.

“I … remember what you said as well,” Shiro finally said. Keith’s stare grew more intent. “Like a brother, right?” He was giving Keith an out and, well, he didn’t want to presume anything. And Keith _had_ said he was his brother. Shiro had never made mention of his own feelings; for the longest time he hadn’t even _had_ any to speak of outside of a deep fondness. He wasn’t sure when it had changed but he suspected it was around the time Keith burst into the Garrison base to rescue him. That kind of thing tended to make an impression.

But he knew that by most people’s definition their friendship would be considered unusually close. Even so, Shiro knew there was a difference between a loyal friendship and something else. He had no intention of asking for more than Keith was willing to give.

“I don’t know,” Keith said so softly that Shiro almost didn’t hear it. “I told you about how things were different for me before. I thought I couldn’t feel anything … more? I’m not sure how to put it.”

Keith was starting to look a little downtrodden and Shiro was instantly reminded of the mercurial teen he had met all those years ago. Maybe Keith hadn’t changed as completely as he’d thought. It was oddly reassuring.

“Hey, come here,” Shiro carefully sat up and raised his singular arm. He tried to ignore the phantom sensation of another arm reaching out for Keith that wasn’t actually there.

Keith didn’t need to hear it twice. He wrapped his arms so tightly around him that Shiro thought he might get a few bruises.

“I’ve had two years to think about it,” Keith murmured, his face buried in Shiro’s chest. It was such a strange sentence. Shiro knew that Keith had been in an area where time moved differently but to think he’d missed two years of Keith’s life while also _not_ was difficult to wrap his head around.

“But I still don’t know what this is. What does it mean if you’re willing to do anything for someone? If you’ll always be there for them no matter what they do?” Shiro just listened silently. It wasn’t his place to interrupt.  “When I say it, it sounds like it should be obvious and it still isn’t; how stupid is that?” Keith was gripping him even tighter and from this angle Shiro couldn’t make out his face but he could hear the raw emotion.

 Keith had once told Shiro, years ago, that he thought he might be ace. Shiro knew it had been something Keith struggled with on and off for years but they’d never talked about it in depth. Shiro understood the need to tell someone else the truth about yourself without having to divulge all the details to boot. He’d never have thought part of that struggle was what Keith felt for him though.

“It’s not stupid, Keith,” he said when it was clear Keith wasn’t going to add anything else. “Love is one of the most complicated emotions out there. I know everyone makes it sound like it fits neatly into different boxes but it’s not always like that. But no matter what kind of love it is, I just want you to know it means the universe to me and I support you.” Keith was silent but Shiro knew he was listening intently. “But for what it’s worth, I love you, too. I always will.”

Keith let out a strangled sob. “Keith?” Had he said the wrong thing? _I can’t hurt him again,_ Shiro thought helplessly. How many times would he hurt him before he finally got things ri—

It took a couple seconds for his brain to catch up with the fact that Keith’s mouth was on his own. It took even longer for him to realize it was a kiss.

It was a little awkward due to angling and because Shiro was feeling decidedly off kilter both by the unexpectedness of it and the fact that he kept trying to wrap his nonexistent other arm around Keith to no avail. It was a strange mix of bliss at the contact and frustration with himself.

When Keith finally pulled away Shiro could only stare. “I thought I’d lost you,” Keith said, his voice trembling slightly.  “I thought we were both going to die and I’d never even have a chance to figure _this_ out.”

“But you found me,” Shiro offered, having trouble keeping up with the twists and turns of the conversation. “We have all the time in the world.”

“We’re in the middle of a war. How can you say that?” Keith’s voice was bitter.

“Because you’re here with me and I know you’ll never give up on me.” Neither of them moved. Judging by the horrified flush making itself known on Keith’s face it must have dawned on him what he’d just initiated. Shiro was starting to feel a little awkward himself.

 “You know, you don’t have to push yourself or rush whatever this is. We can take our time. I mean, emotions are running high right now what with, you know…” _Very smooth, Shiro,_ he berated himself. “That’s not to say I didn’t, um, like the…” Shiro was stumbling over his words now, Keith was looking a little anxious with anticipation, and Shiro was feeling more and more foolish as he went on. “I did. Like it, that is.”

Keith ducked his head in embarrassment but Shiro didn’t miss the pleased smile adorning his face. Shiro felt a rush of relief that he hadn’t, somehow, ruined things and felt a matching blush on his own face. What a pair they made.

“So did I,” Keith admitted. “Maybe … you’re sure we don’t have to figure it out right away? I mean, maybe it’s obvious….”

“Keith, regardless of whether it turns out it’s obvious or not, I’m just glad you’re here. And I’m glad I’m here, too. It’s … been a difficult time.”

“I understand,” Keith said quietly. “Have you gotten any sleep? I heard you tossing and turning earlier.”

Shiro considered lying and saying he was doing all right but ultimately Keith deserved the truth. They wouldn’t get anywhere without it, he supposed.

“I haven’t. I know I should but part of me feels like I’ve been doing nothing but sleep for a very long time now.”

Keith nodded in sympathy. He seemed to consider something and, having reached a decision, nudged Shiro over. Shiro complied albeit with some confusion until Keith wrapped the blankets around both of them.

Seeing Shiro’s inquisitive look Keith looked away, embarrassed. “Uh, is this all right?”

“Of course it is.” It was just unexpected but Shiro silently admitted to himself it was a nice surprise. “The floor isn’t very comfortable, fair warning.” Keith just snorted in response.

Shiro was surprised once more when he felt two arms wrap around him followed by a face burying itself in the back of his neck. Keith really had changed. He was more … open was the only word Shiro could think to use. Only a little while ago he doubted they would have even had that entire conversation. It filled Shiro with a warm, happy feeling. He hadn’t thought he’d feel that again anytime soon with all the dire events surrounding them.

“I’m glad you’re here, Keith.”

Keith mumbled something unintelligible. Shiro chuckled softly. So he’d already fallen asleep. He’d been working nonstop for far too long, so Shiro supposed it wasn’t a terrible surprise.

Shiro wasn’t sure how much time had passed but at some point he noticed Krolia taking a peek inside. He wondered if he should say something by way of explanation but she merely closed the door with a pleased smile gracing her lips. He wished he knew what those two had discussed in their time together for her to not even question what was happening now.

The pulse of the dim, purple lights overhead and the warmth of Keith’s body behind him finally lulled him into a more relaxed state. The edge of his vision was blurred and he knew he’d be falling asleep soon. He thought he could hear the distant hum of the Black Lion’s voice that was usually only that clear in the astral plane. This time he wasn’t afraid though. Maybe he was sentimental but he knew that, regardless of what happened, Keith would always find a way to bring him back.

He let his eyes close and slumber take him.


End file.
